Bob stared into the black pools that were the eyes of the polar bear and wondered if anything beyond a primitive hunger lied behind them. Not that it mattered though he had bought himself a gun, the gun made him feel safe and warm inside. All he had to do was pull the trigger and the bear would become just so much dead weight. Dead weight that would decompose in the winter sun and become one with nature again. Nature held its breath and waited for Bob to make a decision.

Bob thought about what his father had told him when he was just a wee little penguin and made a decision.

“Joe come over here for a sec”

“What’s up Bob ? Hey is that a polar bear ? He looks hungry”

“nahh he just ate something but right behind him there’s a big fish”

“really you are not joking are you ? “

“nahh man, I saved it all for you I know you were hungry and all”

“ahh man you are the best”

Joe screamed as the polar bear teared into him and Bob thought how Nature was cruel giving brains to some while keeping others stupid. Who needs a gun when you have brains ?

P.S. Yes I have indeed seen this

Yet again.

In other news my chinese is progressing slowly. I tried to use some of limited Mandarin I have learned the other day by telling a friend I don’t have a cat but I have 7 fish. She looked very confused and told me to repeat it in English, it turns out that I actually said I don’t have any body hair but I have 7 hands. Suffice to say there’s still a ton to go over, my small victories consist of being able to tell a taxi driver where I live and ordering basic foods on my own.

I also helped the reputation of foreigners on Saturday night. I was at a Belgian themed coffee house drinking a beer and working on a Bob story when I noticed everyone kept staring at me. Now I had my headphones on so I just glared back at them and pushed the volumen higher. After about half an hour I noticed that I had accidently knocked the headphone jack out of the laptop. Yes everyone in the coffee shop was sharing my music but no one was going to say anything since I kept glaring a anyone who dared to look a my direction. Foreigners are all friendly like that.

Last item I start my new job on Monday so I only have about 3 free hours a day after school/work is done so blogging will become even more scarce.

Bob eyed the package, the box was shiny and glossy full of promises of warmth and comfort. Bob had waited for this package for ages because even with the Amazons one click order and 24hr shipping it had still taken a week to arrive. But it was here now in all its glory glistering brightly under the north pole sun.

But a little seed of doubt had sprouted in Bobs mind, there was something wrong but Bob ignored it. He had seen the scarf, he had wanted the scarf and he had ordered it. There was no reason to think about anything else, he could afford to buy nice things once in a while after all. He was good with his savings, the shrimp stock had been up that year, yeah he could afford it but still there was something.

Bob opened the package and with the opening it seemed to lose the magic that had held Bob so enthralled, there were doubts again but Bob resolutely pushed them aside. Who cared that no other penguin had a scarf, he would be the first the trend setter.

Finally the package was open and the scarf was out, it’s plush softness inviting Bobs neck to try it on and this is when Bob realized his mistake. Without opposable thumbs he would never be able to wear the scarf. Bob gazed at the discarded package, now it seemed utterly useless and a wast of his money, but no wait valentine day was coming up after all, hmm now to buy some pink ribbon, he was sure he saw that somewhere on Amazon…

Bob surveyed his kingdom with reluctance. His tail had been itching for the past 3 days but it would probably be another month before he could scratch it. To top it all off it #234 snow was falling and that was Bobs least favorite snow. When you walked up on this snow it made a crunching sound very similar to that of a penguin farting. When Bob had been a small penguin his peers had always delighted in making fun of him whenever #234 had fallen. Of course Bob was now a fully grown penguin and he didn’t have to take that kind of abuse from anyone but he still cringed inwardly as he took a step forward and heard the snow crunch. What was that ? Singgering ? It had better not be if they knew what was good for them.

Bob gently maneuvered himself and his egg pas the other penguins on his way back to the middle of the huddle thinking he couldn’t wait until this ordeal was over with. To pass the time Bob thought about her again. It sure beat thinking about #234 and look it looked like #322 was about to start falling, that was much nicer to walk on.

It had been a beautiful summer day and the ground was covered in #16 the most brilliant of all the snows, but it paled in comparison to the way her eyes sparkled. Sure she didn’t have the biggest beak in the crowd and her flippers could be more flippy but there was something about her that Bob couldn’t resist. Maybe it was the back of her head, Bob couldn’t stop thinking about how great it would be to peck her her there multiple times. Or maybe it was the fact that she wasn’t like the other penguins, she had class yes this was clearly no Budweiser penguin, she would require something better maybe a bottle of Chimay and some foreign sounding cheese.

Bob casually pecked her in the neck as he walked by making sure to puff his chest up as much as possible. She cooly looked at him before waddling away. Waddling away!! Bob couldn’t believe it, she had actually walked away from him, he wanted her more than ever before. Later that night Bob waddled towards her with a bottle of clear ice vodka, the choice of the sophisticated penguins everywhere. She looked even more beautiful by the moonlight and apparently she saw something in Bob that she liked because it wasn’t long until they were twisting their necks around each other.

Bob wondered if he was warmer because he was at the center of the pack or warmed by her memory either way the egg didn’t feel as heavy as it did before. Bob would wait as long as it took her if for no other reason than to see her eyes sparkle like #16.