Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

In 48 hours I will be on a plane but before that let me tell you about the greatest movie ever made. As you know I like to compare everything to food and I have given this movie a lot of thought, it has a simple premise, a complex message and every moment is enjoyable. I thought long and hard about what food I would compare this movie to and finally it came to me, “Ramen”, no not the instant stuff you buy when you are starving but the complete meal that they cook in Japan and other noodle shops around the world.

Of course that the entire movie is about ramen makes this an even better analogy. I know I know you will not go look for an independent japanese movies made in 87 about noodles. That’s why you can email me your address and I will send you a copy. Also if you want a post card from somewhere in asia email me your address. Email is asadtr@gmail.com. Trust me you want to watch this movie, it’s the only movie I have ever seen that mixes, sex, food and live shrimps.

“Local mercenaries, many of them ex-soldiers or police officers, hire themselves out to warring tribes.
They are paid in money and women and Papua New Guinea’s most highly-prized commodity – pigs. “

How can you go wrong with that ? The Crispix tell me this is the path I should follow except I am not sure if they have any Crispix in PNG. They also have some weird mating behavior. “Men and women have separate gardens, as well as houses, because the men are afraid to eat food grown and cooked by women. The bride goes to the women’s house of the husband’s family, while the man learns magic spells to protect himself from her. Eventually, the bride and groom lie outside in the garden for five days. They not only don’t touch each other, but don’t eat or sleep during that period. On the fifth day, he pours a foul-smelling oil on her genitals and has intercourse with her. Then, they go back to separate houses. She spends her time working in the garden, including tending pigs, which are tied to her ankles. When the husband wants more children, he unties a pig, which squeals in surprise. When the wife goes to investigate the pig’s squeal, he has sex with her. “

I wonder if I can just show up with a side of bacon ? Do I need a live pig ? How many pigs before you are considered a millionaire ? I think in PNG I’d be considered independently wealthy and could live there without working for the rest of my life. Just me and the clay people.

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
- St. Augustine (354-430)

The itinerary is set,

Aug 29 Los Angeles – Singapore
Sept 03 Singapore – Bangkok
Sept 13 Bangkok – Kuala Lumpur
Sept 20 Kuala Lumpur – Manila
Sept 28 Manila – Los Angeles

It’s time and I think I am as ready as I can be. Scuba class has been attended, travel book has been bought, rent has been paid and a job has been quitted. I will not be checking my regular email account because I do not trust the internet cafes to be safe from keyloggers so you can reach me at asadtr@gmail dot com while I am on the road, I am not really sure how often I will be checking it but worry not while I am gone evilasad will be in the capable hands of Steve.

I am not really sure what I will do afterwards and part of the trip will be spent trying to figure out what’s next. Linda brought up a good point, when you are young the pool is mysterious and deep and you constantly dive into it as you get older you tend to put a check mark next to the pool, “been there, done that”.

But you can always dive deeper and see new sights, the risk is leaving the herd behind. As Renton said “Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home…” or you can dive. Choose the unknown, Choose the unseen, Choose the less traveled roads, Choose the penguins and the monkeys and lamas, Choose your own borders, limitations and abilities. Choose to go see what others don’t want to see, Choose to roll the dice, Choose to put in your chips.

The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

New pics are up at the gallery.

Once upon a time at the foot of a great mountain, there was a town where the people known as Happyfolk lived, their very existence a mystery to the rest of the world, obscured as it was by great clouds. Here they played out their peaceful lives, innocent of the litany of excess and violence that was growing in the world below. To live in harmony with the spirit of the mountain called Monkey was enough. Then one day Strangefolk arrived in the town. They came in camouflage, hidden behind dark glasses, but no one noticed them: they only saw shadows. You see, without the Truth of the Eyes, the Happyfolk were blind.

Falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump back from behind them and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead,
the dance of the dead,
the dance of the dead

In time, Strangefolk found their way into the higher reaches of the mountain, and it was there that they found the caves of unimaginable Sincerity and Beauty. By chance, they stumbled upon the Place Where All Good Souls Come to Rest. The Strangefolk, they coveted the jewels in these caves above all things, and soon they began to mine the mountain, its rich seam fueling the chaos of their own world. Meanwhile, down in the town, the Happyfolk slept restlessly, their dreams invaded by shadowy figures digging away at their souls. Every day, people would wake and stare at the mountain. Why was it bringing darkness into their lives? And as the Strangefolk mined deeper and deeper into the mountain, holes began to appear, bringing with them a cold and bitter wind that chilled the very soul of the Monkey. For the first time, the Happyfolk felt fearful for they knew that soon the Monkey would soon stir from its deep sleep. And then came a sound. Distant first, it grew into castrophany so immense it could be heard far away in space. There were no screams. There was no time. The mountain called Monkey had spoken. There was only fire. And then, nothing.

O little town in U.S.A, your time has come to see
There’s nothing you believe you want
But where were you when it all came down on me?
Did you call me now?

to see the rest of the pictures click on the duck below.

I have been working more post processing, hopefully these pics show that.

Me: Bevis I can’t just stay on for no good reason I have a vacation to plan
Bevis: but we are giving you salarey, why wouldn’t you want to keep getting it ?
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So Monday is my last day of work but on Friday we are supposed to turn in a self-evaluation form. I just finished filling out mine.

Accomplishments:
Please summarize below your accomplishments during the above period. Please be concise and cover all accomplishments, not only purely technical. Please provide the original to your manager.
Grew sales by 45928% in the southwest despite 8 different managers, disillusioned board members and a product that would periodically burst into flames and destroy an entire network.

Strengths:
God like perfection and a 6th, 7th and 8th sense for knowing when to buy clients more drinks and when to put them in front of a PO.

Areas for Improvement:
God like perfection caused upper management to become monks in Thailand and meditate on the folly of trying to improve upon the perfection that is my work ethic. I will try to be less perfect in the future.

Development/Career Growth:
Learned that vicodine and alcohol do not mix, and started to appreciate the qualities of a good 8 ball of cocain. Also met a lot of great peopel who were smarter than me and left earlier.

My boss wants me to stay on longer, I was originally supposed to leave on August 15th, but now they want me to stay until the end of August and maybe mid-september, that would mean pushing my vacation plans back a few days. Should I

a) take the money

b) say fuck it and leave on the 15th

c) sue

d) say sure I’ll work but go on vacation anyways

Regardless of which option I would choose I refuse to fill out any paperwork or attend any meetings. Plus I’ve started to drink during lunch time and refer to my boss as Bevis. Bevis doesn’t like his new name but really what is he going to do ? Fire me ?

METHODS: Squirrel monkeys were trained to discriminate 0.3 mg/kg cocaine (i.m.) from vehicle under a 10-response fixed-ratio schedule of food reinforcement, and responding on the drug lever was assessed after varying i.m. doses of heroin, 6-MAM, and morphine. The potential role of opioid receptor mechanisms in modulating the cocaine-like DS effects of heroin and its metabolites was assessed with the mixed mu/kappa opioid antagonist naltrexone, the delta-selective antagonist naltrindole, and the kappa-selective antagonist nor-binaltorphimine. RESULTS: Heroin, 6-MAM, and morphine engendered dose-related increases in responding on the cocaine lever in three of four monkeys.

In the name of science you too can get your monkeys high, it’s only a matter of days until someone trains a bunch of killer monkeys in the deadly art of ninjutsu. It’s the nature of man to not respect nature, it’s also the nature of man to arm monkeys with deadly weapons. It’s against this dooms day weapon that I have trained my fish, unfortunately the goldfish have reached their limits, their fins are razor sharp, their 3 minute minds honed to perfection but still they won’t be a match for drugged up monkeys armed with nuclear weapons.

That’s where Soy Sauce (SS) comes in, being a blind fish he will not be intimidated by the imposing size of the Killer Drug Monkeys Army (KDMA). Of course SS is just one fish but then again so was Rambo, and he not only beat up local cops he also joined up forces with the Taliban and Osama to fight the soviets.

I would put a red ribbon around the head of SS but at this point he’s such a highly trained fish that I am afraid he would mistake me for a MAKD member. KAMD members can disguise themselves as anyone which is why SS doesn’t trust anyone. And so we have a dilemma, a trained fish to get rid of AKDM but what will get rid of the fish ?

The solution is so simple it’s almost elegant but not quiet, we must of course produce a giant race of mutant penguins. I am talking emperor penguins that stand 7 foot tall, with titanium beaks. This is after all the summer of penguins. Starting with Madagascar, then March of the Penguins and finally damn I can’t remember the name of the last movie but it’s by the same people who made Winged Migration. Wait I have it, it’s … no I don’t. I am thinking of Wallace and Gromit and their evil penguin. So many penguins so little time. Oh hi, what are you doing down here ? This post ended a few minutes ago, this is just the rolling credits you know for the people who wait and expect a blooper at the end. Sorry we don’t have any bloopers here, really we don’t you can go on your merry way.
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what
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really we don’t have anything you can continue your blogging experiece.
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ok ok
here you go.