Parents

Posted by Asad | General | Sunday 30 January 2005 2:13 pm

Mom, Dad and Sis are all visiting me this week and this has made for quiet an enjoyable if not painful experience. It’s been about 3 years since we were all in one place. I live in LA, my sister in NYC, Mom in Tehran and Dad in Kermanshah. Next week Sis goes to Chicago, two weeks later Dad and Mom both go back to Tehran although Dad might be going to Dubai afterwards while I will be staying in LA. Oh and Sis might be re-locating to a 3rd world country as part of some volunteer program.
It’s hard keeping track of the time zones so we just don’t bother. I get calls at all hours of the night but hey it’s your family you love them. Or at least fake it.
This conversation is from yesterday mornings breakfast table.

Mom: When L (Sis) was born she was the prettiest baby in the whole ward, she had tiny nails and a full head of hair.
Dad: Everyone in the family kept remarking that she looked like a tiny doll. Everything was perfect.
Me: What about me ? Come on I was a good looking baby too.
Mom: oh no you were the ugliest baby in the whole ward.
Me: shocked silence, did my mom just call me ugly ?
Dad: Oh yeah we weren’t even sure if you were gonna make it, your ribs were showing, you were really ugly and your skin was yellow.
Sis: laughing her ass off.
Me: come on, you guys are exagerating right …
Mom: no, you were ugly your whole first year, we didn’t even want to take any pictures of you.

And that’s why I don’t have my family over very often.

Great post

Posted by Asad | General | Thursday 27 January 2005 12:46 pm

Over at Whoman. Check out these pics.

Guess

Posted by Asad | General | Wednesday 26 January 2005 6:55 pm

Can you name this painting ?

Guess

Tim makes another great one

Posted by Asad | General | Friday 21 January 2005 7:10 pm

Or at least a good looking preview.

Why I don’t worry about Iran being invaded

Posted by Asad | General | Thursday 20 January 2005 1:38 am

Let’s ignore the political aspects of attacking Iran. For the purpose of this discussion we will assume that the decision has already been made and the US is planning to attack Iran a country three times the size of Iraq.

Iran in contrast with Iraq and Afghanistan has a real military that is not crippled by UN sanctions or years of unnecessary war. Currently Iran has 540,000 soldiers with 350,000 reserves that include the Basij, Iran also has about 1,600 tanks, 3,200 pieces of artillery, 306 combat aircrafts and 3 submarines.

Despite all the talk about Iran building a great military force, Iran’s military expenditure has been in decline since 1989. Even rise of oil prices in the past few years has not caused an increase in the military spending, in fact in 2003 Iran spent only 2.4% of its GDP on the military as opposed to 6% in 1989. In contrast Saudi Arabia spent 11.3% of its GDP on defense in 2003.

To compensate for the small budget the Iranian government has concentrated on a few key areas, missiles, artillery, mines and unconventional weapons of war. Let’s look at each one of these and the problems they could cause for the US on the battlefield.
The artillery is really more of a defensive weapon than anything else, Iran does not have the capability to quickly and easily move the artillery to forward locations, rather they are meant to be used in case of an invasion from secure locations with minimal amount of movement. While they might make tempting air targets the fact that they are widely dispersed and across a difficult geographic area detracts from their value. They could significant problems for any ground force moving into Iran from the west or the east.

One of the major causes of concern for the US has been the Iranian missile programs. Iran with help from N. Korea, Russia and China has created a self-sufficient missile program. The number of functional missiles is a matter of speculation however in 2001 Iran fired 60 missiles in about 3 hours at 6 MEK bases inside Iraq this surprised many outside observes who suspected Iran had less than a hundred missiles. While the missiles by themselves could not change the course of a war they could reach US basis not only in Iraq but also in Bahrain, Qatar or Saudi Arabia. The consequence of such an attack is left as an exercise for the reader.

Mines have long been a favored weapon for countries with small budgets, and Iran is no exception. Iran has invested significant amount of money in modern marine mines that are not easy to detect, estimates range from 2000 to 3000. Many of these mines can be set to activate only in response to certain sounds or at different times of the day. It is doubtful these mines would be effective against modern US/UK ships but they would pose significant problems for tankers going in and out the Persian Gulf. Iran can deploy the mines via submarines, ships and helicopters. The mines are also distributed along many different small and hardened bases along the Gulf and on some islands which makes advanced targeting impossible.

By unconventional weapons of war I am refereeing to the Iranian intelligence service that has contacts and bases in Iraq and Afghanistan. Iran would not have any difficulties in recruiting volunteers in either one of those countries and in case of an all out war they would cause significant hindrance for the US troops.

The US forces order of battle currently stands at 150,000 troop and 500 planes. This is barely enough to keep control of Iraq and parts of Afghanistan. These forces would have to at least be doubled before the US could take any sort of overt military action in Iran. Discounting the cost I seriously doubt the ability the US military to provide these numbers. It would also leave US basis in Japan and S. Korea seriously depleted which would provide an incentive for China to finally “unify” with Taiwan.

Let’s take a step back and look at the economic view, while it’s summer time and traditionally oil demand is lowered at this time the closing or partial closing of the Gulf would cause a serious disruption in the global economy. Globally Iran ranks number 4 with 3.6 million barrels of oil produced per day, any disruption in this would be felt world wide.

In a conventional sense Iran would eventually lose the war to the US, but Iranians have always had a more cohesive spirit than Iraqis and in case of a US invasion Iranians are much more likely to band together and fight back than Iraqis. Let’s not forget that while the Iranian leadership might not be viewed favorably by Iranians it’s still a much more popular regime compared with Saddam or the Taliban. And a prolonged war with yet another country is not something the American people would tolerate, not when the war would cause a major spike in gas prices and a slump in the stock market.

So in conclusion while the Bush administration might not have any ideological issues with invading Iran but the logistics of such an invasion make it all but impossible.

New addition

Posted by Asad | General | Monday 17 January 2005 2:13 am

These are the finest comics in the world hand selected by monks livinng a very sparse life in the amazong. —->>>

Spidergirl 2

Posted by Asad | General | Sunday 16 January 2005 3:57 am

I came home thinking about how life would be different with one arm, for one thing I had to put the groceries down before I could open the door. That kind of sucked, but I thought I was getting the hang of it, this wasn’t so bad I could probably win a special Olympics or something..
I was getting kind of hungry and I didn’t know what to make when I got an idea. I went back to the window and sure enough the spider that I had crushed earlier was still there, hmm bite me and I’ll eat you ? Sure I could do that, I chopped up the spider and cooked up some rice, tonight I would have some spider polo.
Spider polo wasn’t quiet as appetizing as I had anticipated, but I took a bite just to try it out. A bit chewy and definitely too hairy, but before I could take another bite I heard someone knocking at my door.
Standing at my door was the hot spidergirl from the grocery store.
“Hi, I am sorry about what happened earlier, I just wanted to bring your arm bac”
“Thanks but I don’t think I can really attach it back”
“oh,…”
Feeling a bit bad about the whole thing I invited her in for dinner.
“oh cool, I love ethnic foods, what is this “
“oh, umm, spider polo”
That was not the right answer I thought as spidergirl used her giant fangs to cut me in half.
“now that was uncalled for, what are you going to do now eat me ?”
“maybe I will”
“ha, with spider parts in my stomach ?”
She thought about it for a few seconds, I don’t think she could really eat me after all I had just been eating spiders a few minutes ago, you don’t want to eat something that eats spiders. It’s just not healthy.

added a bunch of new blog

Posted by Asad | General | Saturday 15 January 2005 4:28 pm

A waiter in nyc, Javod, Ka.. I mean Gamblor and a few others the finding of which is left as a excersie to the readers.

No wonder my gmat verbal score sucks

Posted by Asad | General | Friday 14 January 2005 2:58 pm

Apparently editors and journalists no longer need to proof read what they post.
From the register in the uk:
“Friedrich has been charged being held on a charge of “exploitation of the elderly” with bail set at $10,000″.
The Amercian writers are even worse:
” Bryant is the more prolific scorer, averaging more than four more points per game more than James”.
These guys get paid to write, their editor get paid to double check what they write and my sentence correction sucks cause I read them.

Spidergirl

Posted by Asad | Stories | Friday 14 January 2005 3:26 am

I closed the window but the spider sitting on the window must not have liked that, this wasn’t a cool spider man bite. I didn’t get any super powers just a red mark and some sharp pain, in pain I decided to go to the store to get something for it. Apparently they have something that can treat these sorts of things.

I got the cream and went up to the counter the giant spider asked “will that be all sir?” I didn’t know what to say, I looked a bit closer, it was just a giant spider head with a gorgeous human body, a gorgeous female human body. “umm my eyes are up here sir, will that be all”. I stammer out a yes and watched her count the change.

Would it be better if she had a human head and a spider body. And how would her body feel ? soft ? hard ? crunchy ?
I had to know, so as she turned to grab a bag for the cream I reached over and gently caressed her ass. She apparently didn’t appreciate this since she turned back and bit my arm in half.

An embarrassed silence followed as we both stared at my had laying down on the counter.
“it’s instinct you know, I can’t stand to be touched when it’s not mating season”
“ oh yeah I totally understand”
“ the wound is cauterized, you don’t have to worry about disease, I brush my fangs every night”
“that’s very hygienic of you”
“paper or plastic sir ?”

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