In a sad attempt to attract new readers I have resorted to linking to boobies. I don’t know why it took so long I’ve always loved a good pair of boobs. Check out Katies boobs, they are just beautiful.
On an unrelated note everyone should listen to this song at least twice. Please be nice and right click save instead of streaming it.
Oh and Don Hertzfeldt will have a DVD out very soon. If you don’t know who he is watch this piece of genius. This is his official website.
The black magician ran across the desert and the cowboy followed him on the red clay. A blue sun shone mercilessly on the red clay. The poor caterpillar struggled to swim in the spinach river. Its tiny legs churning helplessly in the current. It fought against the current hoping against hope that the cake would miss it. But the carrot cake saw it in that instant and all that was left of the caterpillar was an empty space that was quickly filled by more spinach.
I felt bad for the caterpillar and pointed this out to the cowboy. He looked at me and then shot me. I lay down on the dirt and looked up at the bright sky. Fucking a I needed a pair of shades. I got up to look around and saw a boomerang. Aha I thought I�ll get that damn cowboy.
I picked up the boomerang it was well crafted and covered by weird writings. I threw it at the cowboy but it curved straight down into the dirt. The cowboy looked back at me, laughed and shot me again.
That�s twice in one day I thought. I really had to do something about that so I made a list.
1. Kill cowboy.
2. Rescue caterpillar
3. stop making lists
I saw another boomerang but the first time had gone so well that I left it there for the next moron who thought he was from down under. Channeling racial stereotypes I picked up a rock imagined that the cowboy was a tank and threw it at him.
Amazing a direct hit, you would have thought I had been doing this all my life. Maybe I should have tried out for the javelin throw back at high school. The plan was perfect all I needed was a Catholic school. Catholic school girls yummy.
While I was dreaming about plaid skirts I was hit in the head by a boomerang. God damn it, that hurt. Almost as much as being shot. I tried to wipe the blood out of my eyes and saw the damn magician picking up the boomerang. That was no magician, that was an aboriginal. And he had a dodo with him. No he didn�t have a dodo with him. That was a carrot cake. I often mistake carrot cakes for dodos. Happens all the time, it�s a bit embarrassing when I slam head first into bakery stores trying to get a bite of fresh dodo.
Using ancient skills learned from the monks of Tibet I faked my own death. When the aboriginal came to rob me I kicked him right in the knee. I would have kicked him higher but the monks had thought me that the knee is never protected but if you are a monk in Tibet you always have a nad-guard. Comes from living next to China, years of research into the mystic field of penile dysfunction had lead the Chinese from Tiger penis to birds nest to finally Tibetan monk nads.
As the aboriginal (formerly known as magician) fell down I grabbed a passing scorpion and shoved it down its throat. As the aboriginal choked away I grabbed the dodo looking carrot cake and took a bite. The damn caterpillar emerged in a blue cloud and with the voice of Robin Williams asked me what I wished for.
I told him I�d get back to him.
filial (FIL-ee-uhl) adjective
Of or relating to an offspring.
[From Middle English, from Late Latin filialis, from Latin filius (son).]
Today’s word in Visual Thesaurus: http://visualthesaurus.com/?word=filial
“Don’t let your social and filial relations unwillingly be scarified
through the use of the Internet and online friendships.”
Iran Police Warn Against ‘Dangerous Sharks’ of Internet; Tehran Times
(Iran); Apr 26, 2004.
I am not sure what category showtime has these under but this is what I categorize them as. Movies that you like, know other guys like, but you would never in a million years suggest to a girl.
1. Lord of Illusions
This is a great movie, not too much sex but a lot of a blood and some cool effects. The acting isn’t all that great but the storyline keeps it going. How can you not like a movie where it rains inside of a building the people sink in halfway and then the ground dries up ?
2. Gladiator
Nope not the crap fest that Russle Crowe created. This is a hard rock movie with solid acting from James Marshall, Cuba Gooding Jr, Robert Loggia and Brian Dennehy. Remember Nobody owns Tommy Riley. Nobody.
3. Highlander
Christopher Lambert (before he was reduced to petty roles in Mortal Kombat), Sean Connery and a sound track by Queen although I prefer the Kansas version of who wants to live forever. This really completes the tri-factor here. Swords, decapitations, cheesy 80s music. This movie made Adrian Paul think he was a star.
I was gonna throw Rounders in there but I think a lot of girls will just watch it for Matt Damon. Honorable mention must go to The Color of Money if only Tom Cruise wasn’t in it…
This is for people like me (and the other 90% of the male population) who don�t go dancing very often. So somehow you have gotten dragged to a club, if could have been that you majorly messed up and now your girlfriend is punishing you, it could be that you are single and though this might be a good way to pick up girls or it could be that you thought this was a bar. The first step to survival in any such situation is to understand your environment first. There are several different types of people that you will meet in these places and I�ll go through them one by one.
A) The hot couple who actually know how to dance together. You might think to yourself �Hey how come they know what they are doing ?� well the answer is that they are not really regular club folks. They are bait or more precisely they are hired by the club to promote is as a safe fun place and not some sort of Chinese torture chamber invented by psychopaths. Unlike you they are at work and as part of their job they keep up with the latest MTV trend.
B) The gay couple, they are particularly fabulous from their club cloths to their shoes to their moves. They got it and they flaunt it. Don�t try to emulate them, beside looking like a penguin out of water you might also break something and become paralyzed for life.
C) The old guy, he�s dressed in his hip cloths that were hip maybe 15 years ago. He drives an expensive car and buys all the girls drinks and yet none of them want to have anything to do with him. His daughter is cursing him as we speak since she can never set foot in this club.
D) The packs of girl, they come in packs. They instinctively know what to do, they look good and have their moves down. You might think �ahh this is why I am here� but it would be very foolish of you to try and break one off from the herd as you will immediately be killed.
E) You and the rest of the wallflowers standing by the wall. Now you might think some liquid courage would help you and make your dancing better. If anything instead looking like a penguin out of water you�ll end up looking like a penguin that go on an ice skating ring with Tanya Harding.
So what�s the solution you may ask ? Instead of buying yourself drink buy a small pack of girls drinks. Not just one round either 4-5 rounds, yes it�s a bit pricey but it�ll pay off. Once they are drunk your broken penguin dance will seem a lot better to them. Just as well since people who can�t walk straight are in no position to criticize you. Follow this all important tip and you wont end up looking like cat staring at a fish tank.
(Weekend of May 7-9, 2004)
I was in L.A. this weekend visiting Asad. It?s my first time in L.A. for pleasure instead of business. So needless to say, I was too excited to sit still on the plane. I got off the plane at 4:47 p.m. and ran straight into my boyfriend?s arms by 4:53. (It would have been sooner if I didn?t make a bathroom stop.) We drove out of LAX and on to the road towards Redondo Beach where he lives. The weather?s about 75 degrees and there?s a haze in the air. We passed by the building where he works, then El Segundo, Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach and finally Redondo Beach.
Dinner this first night in Redondo Beach was at Naka Sushi. According to an online restaurant rating, this place holds a 9.3 rating. Let?s just say that the food was anything but a 9.3. I thought maybe it?s because I?m from San Francisco or that it?s because I?m a sushi snob, but the food was just horrible. I?m so glad when Asad said the sushi sucked. (See Asad?s LA entry for his thoughts on this place.) For the rest of the evening, we decided to go see Van Helsing at the AMC 20 Rolling Hills, which according to Yahoo, is 3.9 miles from Asad. As we near the theater, I choked on my spit out of excitement from seeing a Lollicup. It?s one of those places that serves Taiwanese style bubble drinks and desserts that I?ve been dying to drag Asad to. Okay, so when we got to the theater, the line for Van Helsing was out the door, down the block and wrapped around the parking lot. Needless to say, we went home and watched t.v.
(more…)
Great sunsets and hazy skies make for an interesting commute to work. LA reminds one of a pretty but beaten women. She’s spread all over the place and there’s no shortage of bruises but every once in a while she’ll leave you breathless.
I haven’t found any Persian commuities around me I think Redondo beach is a bit off the beaten path for most of them.
One thing is clear there’s no good sushi by where I live. Two nights ago I had the worst sushi of my entire life. The Hamachi tasted chalky, the spider roll looked nothing like a soft shell crap and the tempura was made with fish and chip batter.
On the plus side I am reading A Cook’s Tour I’ve always been a big fan of Bourdain and Kitchen Confidential is one of my favorite all time books. His description of pho is spot on. If you are ever in SF you have to go to my favorite pho place of all time it’s on the corner of 19th and Irvine next to a Starbucks. Make sure you get a large #5 and finish it off with a vietnamese ice coffee.
Bourdain goes on to talk about banh (a triangle of rice with pork inside wrapped with a banan leaf), ban phong tom (shrimp crackers), goi sen (lotus salad with chicken and shrimp), cha goi zoua (fried spring roll), ba la lop (beef wrapped in mint leaves), com duoung chau (Saigones erice with pork, egg, and green beans), mang cua (asparagus soup) and every single word just made me more hungry.
On the topic of Vietnam Perry just got back and he has a series of great pictures the monkey picture is great but unfortunatly he doesn’t have any food pictures 
.