Pelican
I sat by the pier briefly before I stole the boat. It was a nice 40 footer. I set the autopilot towards Australia and went down to attend to the guests. They were mulling about trying to decide which one of them should ask me where we were headed. There was a Barbie blond girl in the corner and I threw a shrimp at her. I think they can figure out Australia from that. After 10 minutes at the helm of the boat I decide to leave and swim back to the shore. A surfer gave me a ride. I never saw any of the people on the boat again.
Drama
I followed the tail of the conversation let her take the lead. She was waiting for me to compliment her on her dress or her figure or both. Stubbornly I refused, concentrating on her speech instead. Working on her instead of her body unwrapping it like it was a tightly folded piece of origami. It took about 10 minutes at the end the piece of paper was mostly blank except for a small drawing of a house in the corner and in small print beneath the house it was written � You should have grabbed my ass instead, now I am going to go home with the guy at the bar�. I looked up and saw her walking toward the blond guy at the bar; they left together.
Pelican II
I lied, I took the 10am flight to Australia, got to the beach right before the boat did.
The guests were still mingling but the Barbie blond girl was looking at me with longing eyes. I felt that I should explain so I went up to her but before I could say anything she stabbed me. As I sat there bleeding I realized I was wearing a Blockbuster shirt and she had a grizzly bear with her. I wonder how much her safety deposit was.
Alcohol
My fridge looked at me with accusing eyes. It had been stocked with nothing but Sake the last few days. I planned on blinding it later but the large deposit I had left made me hesitant. A slug looked up from behind the window. It started to tell me that I animated everything. I looked at it for a bit before I gave it some lettuce.
Taking the steak out of the fridge I walked over to the patio and lighted the grill. I should have used a charcoal grill but I had decided I liked the easy life. I yelled “BAM” and threw the meat on the grill. My neighbor looked at me with a big smile and replied “BAM”. The smile disappeared off of her face when I lit the cigarette. Damn commie bastard. I planned on burning her house later that night.
The meat was done, but I swear I could hear a cow moo as I bit into it. There was a knock at my door, it was the neighbor. She had brought some vodka and wanted to apologize. Someone had told her about my plan to burn her house. I suspected the slug. It looked French and I never trusted the French. They always tasted funny.

Long highways, western hats, shirts too tight for the bodies stuffed into them.
I couldn’t find a Boston Market in Boston or a KFC in Kentucky. I should have looked for a Subway in the subway but Krispy Kream was at every corner backed by Blockbuster and McDonalds. I stopped by the road and waited for a litigator he looked dodgy and British at the same time. I think it was the wig at gave him away. He had a King James Bible with him and warned me that the end was near. I didn’t pay his fee.
I looked at the wanted ads and saw an opening, no experience required be in a major movie. I called the number and heard a cold mechanical voice telling me to email a hotmail address my stats and asking if I was comfortable with nude acting.
Suspiciously I stopped by Kinko everything was going well until I took the nude
pictures. The voice had specifically asked for nude pictures. It was cold outside so I made a point of mentioning the shrinkage factor. I haven’t heard back yet.
The clerk at the check out counter simply sat there and refused to rent me the video I had picked. We argued over the acting and the script. I pointed out that it was an independent film but he kept telling me to rent Titanic along with the latest Brittney Spears video. I tried to be reasonable even used Spock’s Vulcan death grip. But he simply wouldn’t stop so I stabbed him with my rident, Poseidon would be pissed that I borrowed the trident from him.
As he lay bleeding he still wanted to argue so instead of wasting any more time I slashed his credit card through the machine and charged the movie to him. The blood made it a bit sticky but I managed to get it through the slot finally. The crowd behind me was a bit angry, they now had only 2 stations to help them check out their copies of the Titanic but the grizzly at my side kept a watchful eye on them.
I don’t know where I picked up the grizzly. I was in Alaska looking for the north most point in US but had a hard time with all the snow. I probably should have waited till summer. That’s when I saw the polar bear. It looked delicious and didn’t even complain as I cooked one of its legs. Shortly after we ate half of its leg together it headed north while muttering something about an apointment. I didn’t see if he had a watch or ask if his appointment involved tea and a mouse in a teapot. But that’s when I saw the grizzly sitting behind me and looking hungry I offered him the rest of our modest meal and he appily accepted. He has been following me around ever since or have I been following him?
I can’t remember. But my safety deposits have gone up ever since he started living with me. On Sundays he makes a wonderful Denver omelet. I asked him if he had ever been to Denver he absently mentioned they don’t make Denver omlettes in Denver.
I wonder if there’s a law against that …

Apparently people in Taiwan like to chop up whales. A whale exploed in Tanian the other day which reminded me of this story and this video.
I think the moral of the story is don’t fuck with the whales.

Puerto Rican flags, Middle Eastern men in small roach coaches selling gyros and falafels along with strong hot coffee and a few old bagels. People bundled up, looking around quickly walking by even quicker. Cops walking the cop walk, looking at the world with suspicious eyes their suspicion already confirmed.
Cramped parking spaces and luxury cars crawling in the traffic. Little bits of Spanish floating in the air mixing with the dirty snow uttered by girls with generous J-Lo bodies; big gold hoops flashing in their ears framing their easy smiles.
A cold grey sky matching the grey-white frozen Hudson River. An old man cursing at a bored parking attendant as he waits for his even older car to be brought out of the lot.
Rats scurry below as people rush above, neither group going anywhere in
particular. Both focused on what was just ahead of them, fighting for scraps. Small beady eyes looking at the rats with contempt. In the end I think the rats live longer.

I have never felt this way before. It’s truly amazing, within a few minutes I lost all feelings in my fingers and a few minutes after that they started to burn. At least that means that the nerves are still working right ? I am in NYC for a few days for some personal stuff and the cold is unbelievable. I lived in NJ for 8 years and never felt this cold. Maybe it’s the fact that for the last 4 years I’ve been living in California but I don’t think so.
I’ve been in colder weather before, I was in Cedar Rapids, Iowa for a few days last year when it was –26 F but I didn’t have to spend any time outdoors this time it’s different. I think it would actually be warmer to stick ones head in a bucket of ice water. With the wind-chill the temperature is somewhere in the single degrees (that’s in Fahrenheit for you non-US people).
As much as I bitch about living in California and how much the pizza sucks compared to the east coast this is exactly the reason I left. I just can’t deal with the cold.
In fact if I never see snow again for the rest of my life I’d be perfectly happy with it.

Words are the soul’s ambassadors, who go
Abroad upon her errands to and fro.
-James Howell, writer (c. 1594-1666)

No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the
Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy
friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am
involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell
tolls; It tolls for thee. -John Donne, poet (1573-1631)

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath
of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across
the grass and loses itself in the sunset. -Crowfoot, Native American
warrior and orator (1821-1890)

I had a few pics that needed to be re-attached and I’ve put them up over here enjoy. I’ll be photoshoping some other stuff in the near future.

This Sunday should be a great one for the football (American style) lover in you. We start out with Colts visiting the Patriots at Gillette Stadium. The big story line will be can the Patriots defense stop Manning who has been playing some of the best playoff football ever seen.
He has yet to throw an interception in fact the Colts offense has been such a well oiled machine that they haven’t needed to punt the football in the past two weeks. Their main concern however will be their defense, which has been the reason the colts could not afford to punt the football. Last weekend they gave up a whopping 408 yards and 31 point to the Chiefs. And against the Patriots dink attack they don’t figure to do much better.
The cold temperature and natural surface will make an impact on the Colts offense but not as much as everyone things. Not if Manning continues to read the blitz as well as he has the past two weeks and get rid of the football quickly. On offense James will get his 100 yards as I expect the patriots to concentrate on stopping the Manning to Harrison connection. Harrison has been feasting on opposing DBs during the playoffs with a 133 yard effort coming against the Broncos but on Sunday he will be going against Law who is one of the best CBs in the NFL today and regularly draws the MDR (most dangerous receiver) assignment.
The Patriots depend on their defense to hold the opposing offense down and get good field position they prefer a low scoring affair to the shooting match that the Colts prefer. Last week we saw each team perfect their style of play as the Patriots outlasted the Titans and the Colts outscored the Chiefs. In order to win the Patriots need at least 2 turnovers but I don’t think they will get them which is why I am going with the Colts 30-21.

This was gonna be longer but the game is tomorrow and I ran out of time.

I saw a murder of crows this morning as I got off the bus. But had to stop and wait for the army of ants to make its way to the muffin that had fallen off the hotdog vendors cart. I looked at the parcel of hogs that my aunt had sent me and wondered at the deceit of lapwings that had followed it to my house. If only my family didn’t act like a parliment of owls all the time I much prefered the company of parrots to them. At times they put to shame the unkindness of ravens or the storytelling of rooks.
A glint of goldfinches caught my eye but the implausibility of the gnus made it hard to pay attention to the lead of foxes that was after the husk of jackrabbits. But only until, the smack of jellyfish showed up on the fishermens boat. This made it rather rough for the bale of turtles that was already there. Thankfully the plump of wildfowls brought about the destrcution of the wild cats and that ended the whole fiasco.

I can’t wait until the gaze of raccons gets here.

Ok Taq-e-bostan is not something I just made up on the fly. It’s not a village as the Britanica claims but rather the spot everyone goes to on Thursday/Friday nights for kabas and family time. They have a mini fun land for the kids. And it’s usually packed on Fridays with families hiking up and down the mountain. This actually gives some decent pics of the area.